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Can you be a perfect mom… Ever?

The answer is short, simple and may be hard for some. NO. First up, when you ask yourself if you are a perfect mom or not, is where you are wrong. What is perfect? If it is NEVER making any mistakes than no, you are not. If it is NEVER losing temper, no you are not. If it is NEVER scolding your kids, no you are not.

Its not the word ‘perfect’ that is creating a problem with us, its NEVER. You can never eliminate never in your life. You can never be a mom who never does anything wrong. You know why? Because it is how life is. A mom is not an alien, a Prophet or a super human type of thing. A mom is just any other human being living on this planet making mistakes.

Second, why do you need to be perfect? So that you will never have any guilt (see its the ‘never’ that is the problem). As women we are ready to face all the consequences of what we do in our everyday life especially our relationships. The relationship with a baby is just another relation. You need to work on it and understand what is needed from you and deliver. Will your child be happy with u always? No, he will not be.

Lets ask ourselves are we perfect daughters, perfect friends, perfect wives ? No we are not. So cut yourself some slack if you are not a perfect mom. The point is not perfection, to me it is customization. Like in marketing when u give the buyer a product according to his needs. The product may not be perfect in the eyes of most of the people but it is what the buyer needs.

You need to give every kid and in broader case every relationship its customized effort. That is what will make you a good mom, a happy mom and eventually a maker of a happy family. Make a goal towards not being perfect mom but a mom who knows what she should do no matter how much her personality clashes with her kids.

Don’t try to be a perfect mom, try to be a hard working family maker. You will be the perfect example of an amazing mom.

All the best !

 
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Posted by on February 26, 2014 in Just like that !

 

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Things I wish I had done when having a baby

So I had a happy pregnancy. Like the one even the medical books don’t even say. It was normal than normal. Seriously freaky normal. I had an amazing time with F (my hubby). So for the nine month of my life I was enjoying it all and life seemed so smooth. I thought this is how the “after birth” is going to be. NO. It was not. It was beyond my wildest dreams. It was so hard that I would never have comprehended. Mainly because I was under the illusion of everything going smoothly because of an amazing pregnancy.

It was so good that we decided not to get any help. We did not let any body know that I was in labor and we needed help. Our parents even offered to come and help us from back home ( we live far far away from USA).

So, long story short…it was hard and I should have gotten some help. NO, I should have accepted some help.

Anyways, for mommies-to-be who do not have any help, here is my list of thing I wish I had done when having a baby:

  • Get all the help offered, seriously. Don’t think you and your partner alone will be able to do it. Especially for the first time parents, it is gonna be damn hard.
  • READ READ READ. Please read all the information you can find online, in books. As much as you read about your pregnancy, you should read about what will happen after the baby. Expecting it to be a smooth car ride, na-aan ! Its NOT. Read especially about how is it gonna effect your life. How will things change for you
  • LISTEN LISTEN LISTEN…. yes ! listen to moms who give u advice. Not the ones who will tell u crazy stuff, but one mommy friend that you trust.
  • Give your baby to nursery at night when you are at the hospital. After the labor n delivery no matter how much you wanna be with the new angel, send the baby to nursery at least for night and sleep the night. If you don’t take rest the first day is gonna be hardest of your life when u bring the baby home.
  • SLEEP…sleep when the baby sleeps, yeah I heard that, I didn’t do that. I made a mistake. Sleep as soon as the baby sleeps. No matter how much you want to just relax away from the sound of crying. Go to sleep ! take many naps.
  • First day of baby life, u r actually gonna question why u had him. The next few weeks you might resent him
  • You are gonna cry the first few weeks, its the baby blues. It will go away !! Trust me. You will feel terrible but it will go away.
  • Post par tum depression is as normal as u can think. Expect it..get help.
  • Stock up some yummy food at home, you will need it.
  • Take a hell lot of pics. They grow out faster than u know.

The most important thing, believe in yourself ! No not your previous self, you new self. You are a mommy and u have a baby. Believe in you being a mommy… My life changed when I started believing in the mom inside me.

Enjoy !

 
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Posted by on September 11, 2013 in My experiences

 

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