Can you be a perfect mom… Ever?

Can you be a perfect mom… Ever?.

 

Dont blame “MONEY”

Happiness can not be bought. A lot of people say that. Can money buy you happiness?? Oh No No. That’s shallow, that’s wrong. Even if I believed it I would not say that. Lets be real for a second and ssshhhh, no body is going to judge you. No one is here inside your head. Did a nice pair of shoes made you smile some day? Yah it did ! Did you really enjoy the new coat you wore to work this morning and hell yah you were totally rocking it? Yah you did ! Made you feel good now did it not? So what buys all these stuff? hmmm let me think. Honesty, modesty or being humble. Na-aan-aan MONEY

So money did buy you happiness? Yeah it did, As a matter of fact money can make you happy and still be the “good guy”. Yah money “the good guy”. It is not always bad to buy stuff and have fun with it and enjoy it. If I have money I will be able to ‘easily’ buy something that will really look good on me and make me feel beautiful.

So what the point there? If money bought happiness rich people would never be sad, but, honey it is not mathematics. Blaming the amount of money or the happiness associated with buying the stuff instead of blaming yourself for being materialistic will not solve your problem. Own up to it, yes money made you happy.

So what point do all these ‘noble’ people make when they simply point their humble fingers at people and say “money can’t buy you happiness”? They are just trying to say that ONLY money can not buy you happiness. You need to have relations and associations and experiences to feel happy, The fact is that all of them have enjoyed the perks of having bucks in their hands and enjoying and smiling with the things they had bought. Every one loves being able to afford good things in life.

Stop blaming the money. Money is a good thing. It buys you stuff that can make you smile. It buys the you the paints that make you the artist. It buys you the books that take you in a fantasy world. It buys you the car that you use to visit your grandma. It buys you the ticket that takes you around the world.

So stop blaming money and spending money. It is not such a bad thing. Its being “materialistic” can not buy you happiness. Money can, and money does provide you with the means that make you so happy.

I am so happy ! I finally was able to buy happiness with money. I was so happy when I finally found my perfect watch and paid $7 for it. See it did get me happy. Seven bucks is money, isn’t it?

 

On the edge…

What she could not understand was what exactly was she feeling. She was saddest she has ever been but she wanted to cry more and more and not a single tear came out. She couldn’t figure out why that was. May be it was because she was finally able to realize that this was the truth. On ground bloody truth. It was not an emotional thing.

What if it was not just a case of a short termed mental state? What if she had been suffering from cancer or she was schizophrenic?  Or was what she thought was a short term mental state was actually more than that. What if she was just not depressed due to a certain phase but she was crazy. Like the one who you see at a mental asylum?

Is the notion of ” ‘love’ standing by you” means that if she incapable of thinking straight she has all the rights to treat the other person like trash? Or she can take all her frustration out on she loves? If she really doesn’t have anyone else does it give her the right to take advantage of the one who loves her?

Or is she really ill? Is there something wrong in hoping that “in sickness or in health” would be a real thing? Or is she taking advantage of love? Or is she really lost?

As shocked as she was, she was trying to think straight and not talk. What she couldn’t figure out was whether they gave up on love? Was it really that ‘love’ wanted to not be with her? and that too second time in a month, she was warned of being “not worthy to be lived with” ? Is she really that ill or too much unbearable.

Or was it that as the time start to get harder and harder for her, love bailed on her? What if it gets harder and more harder. Is it that the harder it gets the more easily it is going to break. What if it breaks to a point where she wont be able to mend it. Does love break? What breaks so easily is really love?

Did she push love on the edge? But she is not doing it because she likes it, she is mentally so unstable that she herself is one the edge. Or is love tired of being a punch bag? Did she make that punch bag a substitute for medicines. Did she actually do this? Did she push love over the edge?

She still can not figure out. May be she and love are both on the edge …

 

Can you be a perfect mom… Ever?

The answer is short, simple and may be hard for some. NO. First up, when you ask yourself if you are a perfect mom or not, is where you are wrong. What is perfect? If it is NEVER making any mistakes than no, you are not. If it is NEVER losing temper, no you are not. If it is NEVER scolding your kids, no you are not.

Its not the word ‘perfect’ that is creating a problem with us, its NEVER. You can never eliminate never in your life. You can never be a mom who never does anything wrong. You know why? Because it is how life is. A mom is not an alien, a Prophet or a super human type of thing. A mom is just any other human being living on this planet making mistakes.

Second, why do you need to be perfect? So that you will never have any guilt (see its the ‘never’ that is the problem). As women we are ready to face all the consequences of what we do in our everyday life especially our relationships. The relationship with a baby is just another relation. You need to work on it and understand what is needed from you and deliver. Will your child be happy with u always? No, he will not be.

Lets ask ourselves are we perfect daughters, perfect friends, perfect wives ? No we are not. So cut yourself some slack if you are not a perfect mom. The point is not perfection, to me it is customization. Like in marketing when u give the buyer a product according to his needs. The product may not be perfect in the eyes of most of the people but it is what the buyer needs.

You need to give every kid and in broader case every relationship its customized effort. That is what will make you a good mom, a happy mom and eventually a maker of a happy family. Make a goal towards not being perfect mom but a mom who knows what she should do no matter how much her personality clashes with her kids.

Don’t try to be a perfect mom, try to be a hard working family maker. You will be the perfect example of an amazing mom.

All the best !

 

Gripe Water

So for the list of baby things to buy, u guys all know a hell lot of recommendations. What new moms dont usually do a lot of research on…r the little things, like gripe water, cotton swabs, etc. No blames there, who has the time. So if someone comes across this post here is my recommendation

Mommy’s Bliss Gripe Water… it is the best gripe water there is. I was actually lucky that I had my hands on a good one. It is just amazing, first off it is pure, like natural. Second it has ginger extract and fennel extract in it. These both are home remedies that have been used for ages to relieve stomach gas and discomfort. It has NO , so it is safe for the baby.

I personally recommend it, it is very effective yet gentle for baby. My baby has had no problems every drinking it. Whenever he has any discomfort the product works like a charm (and i have a GERD baby )

Its a little pricey, like $13 at Walmart. However, it truly is mommy’s bliss. I don’t care about the money when i see my baby getting relieved. Highly recommended !! Here is an amazon link for u http://www.amazon.com/Mommys-Bliss-Gripe-Water-Original/dp/B000065X1N/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1379479303&sr=8-2&keywords=mommy%27s+bliss+gripe+water

 

 

Best time and place to do baby shopping

With a spring baby, who came in April, we were lucky we had a winter pregnancy. That meant, BLACK FRIDAY ! yaay ! We took a crazy step, which by the 8 month of my pregnancy didn’t seem so crazy…we were done shopping by the 5 months of my pregnancy. Seriously !!?? yes !
My husband was of the opinion that as the time passes m gonna get huge and the best time to shop is the 4-5th months, or when u know the sex of the baby.

So, we were lucky that we had thanksgiving time when we needed to shop. So we got amazing prices for some very good baby stuff.

PLACE TO SHOP:
Walmart ! shop online or in-store. I surveyed many places and I am a 100% convinced that no one has better prices than walmart. We got amazing deals around thanksgiving and we were able to save big. All credit to my hubby, we are intelligent shoppers.

FIRST TIME PARENTS

Stick to all the basic products. If u r on a budget or u are one of the smart shoppers you will find that more or less all products are same. A basic type of shopping is easier for the first time parents, since there is a lot going on and things are changing in your life that you would probably want the baby shopping to be perfect and hassle free.

Hope it helps ! Will keep posting on what to buy for newborn.

Enjoy !

 

Things I wish I had done when having a baby

So I had a happy pregnancy. Like the one even the medical books don’t even say. It was normal than normal. Seriously freaky normal. I had an amazing time with F (my hubby). So for the nine month of my life I was enjoying it all and life seemed so smooth. I thought this is how the “after birth” is going to be. NO. It was not. It was beyond my wildest dreams. It was so hard that I would never have comprehended. Mainly because I was under the illusion of everything going smoothly because of an amazing pregnancy.

It was so good that we decided not to get any help. We did not let any body know that I was in labor and we needed help. Our parents even offered to come and help us from back home ( we live far far away from USA).

So, long story short…it was hard and I should have gotten some help. NO, I should have accepted some help.

Anyways, for mommies-to-be who do not have any help, here is my list of thing I wish I had done when having a baby:

• Get all the help offered, seriously. Don’t think you and your partner alone will be able to do it. Especially for the first time parents, it is gonna be damn hard.
• READ READ READ. Please read all the information you can find online, in books. As much as you read about your pregnancy, you should read about what will happen after the baby. Expecting it to be a smooth car ride, na-aan ! Its NOT. Read especially about how is it gonna effect your life. How will things change for you
• LISTEN LISTEN LISTEN…. yes ! listen to moms who give u advice. Not the ones who will tell u crazy stuff, but one mommy friend that you trust.
• Give your baby to nursery at night when you are at the hospital. After the labor n delivery no matter how much you wanna be with the new angel, send the baby to nursery at least for night and sleep the night. If you don’t take rest the first day is gonna be hardest of your life when u bring the baby home.
• SLEEP…sleep when the baby sleeps, yeah I heard that, I didn’t do that. I made a mistake. Sleep as soon as the baby sleeps. No matter how much you want to just relax away from the sound of crying. Go to sleep ! take many naps.
• First day of baby life, u r actually gonna question why u had him. The next few weeks you might resent him
• You are gonna cry the first few weeks, its the baby blues. It will go away !! Trust me. You will feel terrible but it will go away.
• Post par tum depression is as normal as u can think. Expect it..get help.
• Stock up some yummy food at home, you will need it.
• Take a hell lot of pics. They grow out faster than u know.

The most important thing, believe in yourself ! No not your previous self, you new self. You are a mommy and u have a baby. Believe in you being a mommy… My life changed when I started believing in the mom inside me.

Enjoy !